Little Fragments
by Astridthecrafty
Summary: Collection of short one-shots that may or may not get expanded in the future, but for the time being they are complete. Inspiration comes from many sources. Rating may change.
1. caterwaul - john

**CATERWAUL** \- John

Quivering in the corner, his tshirt was ripped, he was scatched and bleeding, bruises in places he never even knew he had, and several hair follicles had been forcefully ripped out of his scalp.

John glanced over the terrifying scene of complete and utter decimation surrounding him.

Shrieking children writhed and thrashed about on the floor.

He squeezed his eyes closed and covered his ears but he was unable to block out their screams.

Each deafening bang further increased his heart rate.

His chest felt as if it would explode if there was another piercing crack.

Hands pressed against the sides of his head, he flickered open one eye to survey the carnage.

Chairs scattered everywhere.

Tables overturned.

The smashed clockface had stopped at 3.37.

The walls dripped with a barrage of jelly splats, the floor a pool of spilled juice and melted icecream.

 **POP!**

Another burst balloon heralded another volley of maniacal laughter.

He nearly jumped out of his skin as the doorbell rang, finally announcing a parent returning for their sugared up hellspawn.

Never... _NEH-VER EH-VER AH-GAIN_ would he let Scott bribe him into being a supervisor for one of their kid brothers' birthday parties.


	2. life study class - virgil

**LIFE STUDY CLASS** \- Virgil

In the privacy of the glorified cupboard that was a changing room, he looked at himself in the full length mirror. Only tiny minor scars that wouldn't show, taut defined muscles ... even a nice all over tan - not very dark, just enough to be "healthy" looking ... yup, not too bad at all Tracy.

But his smile faded as little niggling thoughts resurfaced. _WHY on earth had he agree to do this?_ Oh that's right, as a drunken bet with his fellow student buddies. He was _NEVER_ agreeing to shots again. He knew aesthetically he had nothing to worry about, but ...oh boy ... what if " _THAT_ " happens?

They were all waiting just the other side of the door, so no backing out now.

He quickly adjusted his hair (as if that is what they'd actually be looking at) before dropping his boxers and wrapping the dressing gown around his shoulders.

He entered the room and breathed a sigh of relief, as every deeply wrinkled face that peaked around an easel was at least three times his age.

He assumed the first requested position, safe in the knowledge that his blood supply would definitely NOT be taking any unwanted diversions this afternoon.


	3. Black or White - Kayo vs Grandma

Written as part of the tumblr TAG Brawl challenge by artisticrainey. I chose Kayo vs Grandma for my pairing.

* * *

As Alan flopped his way down the stairs he noticed Grandma and Kayo sitting on opposite sides of the table. Complete silence, arms crossed in front of them, determination oozed from their poses as they stared at each other menacingly, cold and calculated. He drew in a silent breath as Kayo moved her hand between them and he heard a small click, followed by 3 more small scuffles. Finally he noticed the boardgame between them and let out a sigh of relief.

"SSSHHHHHH!" fired towards him in venomous stereo. They didn't even break to look at him.

Alan quietly popped open the fridge door. Two glass bottles wobbled together with the tiniest of chinks. He could immediately sense the laser-like stares burning into his back. He sneaked a look over his shoulder. Sure enough one chin was tilted just so slightly his way so a set of golden green eyes could glare at him, and from the other side icy blue glowered over the top of purple frames.

"Sorry" he mumbled. Either one of them being mad was bad enough. Neither of the women in this household could be messed with, but the two of them together was an utterly terrifying prospect. And yet, youthful nosiness meant he had to see where this was going.

*click scuffle scuffle*

Both women noticably bristled at the tiny scrape as he moved the stool to sit at the breakfast bar. They must be playing for some serious stakes.

*click scuffle scuffle scuffle*

Grandma placed her second last counter down then flipped her counters over. Eight over the 2 diagonals and two on the horizontal changed from Kayos white to her black pieces. The count 37 to 24 with only 3 square left, all of which were surrounded by white. Her opponent had no moves she could make.

"HA! GOT YOU!"

FINALLY! After umpteen months she'd won. Kayo stood and graciously held out her hand. Alan couldn't recall a time that his Grandmother had looked more pleased with herself, as she returned the handshake.

"Well played Mrs Tracy, you deserved that one. I believe Anzac Biscuits was the deal right."

"Loser bakes? I thought you were about to kill each other … and me also at one point!" spluttered Alan.

"You should see her when there is money involved," grinned Kayo. "You can tell where John gets his pokerface from. Much more meaningful when there is something to play for."

Kayo lifted the flour, oats and cornsyrup from the cupboard.

"You'll just have to suffer MY cookies for a change." she whispered with an exaggerated a wink. She had planned to lose all along!


	4. Valentine's Day - Kayo and ?

"Open the box."

"What is it?"

"Open it."

"A small gold... thing?"

"A puzzle. Now go, use those covert ops skills of yours and find out what it was and what it means."

"Any hints?"

"Hmmm... British"

"Okay, cylindrical ... slightly wider at one end than the other. Wider end is 22mm, flat. Narrower end is 18mm, has an indent in the top with circle and dot..."

"Give me another clue, please"

"Cheat. Okay, it's Sweet."

"Urgh, not giving much away are you?"

click, tap tap tap click

"AH, it's a Rolo"

"Good, now find the advert for them."

A/N inspired by a wee TAG Valentines Drabble challenge by scribbles97 and this VIDEO


	5. hic - Lucille, Jeff and Scott

"See you next week you old card shark!"

Jeff waved and closed the door behind his poker buddies as they drove off.

"Don't count on it Jeff," teased the voice of his wife behind him, "This bump might well make an appearance before then."

He turned to find her resting a coffeemug on top of her rounded belly. She may well be right, he thought. Her instincts had been pretty spot on twice already.

"I'm sure we can set up a table in the delivery room."

"Just you try that, Jefferson Tracy, and you can go find some island to live on." she laughed.

As he moved to give her a peck on her cheek, Lucille ducked away and wrinkled her nose.

"You stink of cigars. Speaking of which, come on, I'll give you a hand to tidy up before bed." and she headed down the hall towards the games room.

"Did Scott get back to bed okay? He came to visit us, asked if he could stay for 5 minutes if he was quiet, next thing I knew he had disappeared."

"No, I didnt hear him get up, one second." Lucille stopped and opened the door to the room her eldest two currently shared. In the soft glow from the nightlight one small pair of feet could be seen sticking out from a bundle of duvet, the other bed was empty.

"Uh, Jeff... go and check the games room, please." The slow calmness of her tone belied the concern in her eyes.

When Jeff reached the room, he could hear a quiet muffled giggling coming from the vicinity of the clothed card table. He lifted up the corner of the tablecloth to find a snickering little Scott snorting into a tumbler that was far too big for his hands.

"Found him," he called, then sheepishly added, "Looks like he stole my drink."

"Oh, good grief Jeff, you pour generous measures, how much was in there?" Lucille pried the heavy crystal-cut glass from the firm grasp of ten small fingers.

"Only a finger, or two ... okay maybe 3, but i'd had a good couple of sips out of it so it couldn't have been much left."

Three and a half feet of blue-eyed child had now made his own way out from below the table and was stood, slightly unsteady, before them.

"He's only five, for goodness sake, and look at him he's falldown drunk." Scott clumsily batted away his mother's attempts to check his pupils, mumbling that it tickled. "Are you sure there wasn't much left? Go and call the out of hours doctor for advice, I'll try and get some water into him."

She scooped Scott up, took him to the kitchen and sat him at the table with a cup of water. Her giggling firstborn was looking at her slightly unfocused and sounding exactly like a well oiled version of his father.

"Daddiez joosh tashtes funny ... it makesh mah tummy warm. Ah don' wan' water. It booooooring. Can ah have a strawb'ry mil'sh'ke? Cake ... I want cake. Can I have chocolate cake an' strawb'ry mil'sh'ke pleeeeeeeeezzzzz?"

"Well, he sounds like he'll be a happy drunk."

Lucille glared at Jeff, and he decided that even in his own gently mulled state that humour was maybe NOT the route to take with his wife _just_ yet.

"Yes... well... The Doc says to keep an eye on him, but he should be fine on that small amount, just make sure he drinks plenty of water and feed him to soak up any alcohol."

Jeff was saved from Lucille's retort by a gentle thud against the tabletop. The tiny brunette's forehead had landed in the plate of cake and was gently snoring. Lucille sighed as she lifted his head up, the brown icing smudged all over his face.

"Hand me the wipes to clean him up. He's definitely your child Jefferson Tracy! Wait till your Mum hears about this."

Jeff covered his laugh with his hand. Then his wife's threat registered.

"We don't _actually_ need to tell Mother ... do we?"


	6. What About? Kayo and Penny Vs Goons

based on this prompt post/133787421625/your-otp-a-herovillain-duo-making-in-depth-dinner

A heeled Louboutin kick into the kidneys sent the minion to the ground.

"It would be wise of you to stay down. My hairstylist is a wonder. What about an ombre dye?"

"OAFT" echoed in the corridor as the air rushed out of a man's lungs

"Lady Penelope, thank you ...", a punch smacked into the cheekbone of the doubled over second minion, "... for the kind offer. But, really, there is no need."

A scowl flickered over Penny's face as she checked the jagged nail tip of her right ring finger. "So much for an indestructible gel finish. What about a manicure?"

"As nice as a bit of colour is, fake nails are just so... impractical."

"I find Gordon rather enjoys them dragging down his back."

"THAT was more information than I really needed."

"Bother. Handprint scanner. Help me with this goon please, Kayo. What about a nice massage then? Hjalmar and Nickolai at the Retreat are camper than Christmas but OH can those boys do magic with their fingers."

"You do realise how rude that sounded." Kayo grunted as she sat the minion against the wall. Penny giggled as she raised the man's arm. Pressing his hand to the touchpad, the scanner beeped green and the door slid open.

Inside the dull-lit room the 2 captives sat tied and blindfolded.

"Do y'hour worst, we'll never g'hiv them up!" spat the salt'npepper haired man. The other occupant of the room had apparently been gagged in addition. Probably the result of being his usual smartmouth self.

"You won't want to be rescued then, Parker?" Kayo stated as she whipped off his blindfold and moved to loosen the ropes.

Penny walked up to the shorter of the two and tugged up the blindfold a touch.

"goanght geh ehnee ahygears" he mumbled around the wad of material shoved in his mouth.

"Ideas? No, Gordon dear, having you bound and gagged would NEVER give me ideas," she winked.


	7. Country Roads - Scott and Jeff

The candy pink Rolls Royce crunched it's way across the gravel and stopped at the bottom of the steps to the Manor. A gangly, 17 yr old brunette bounced out from the drivers door with a grin to rival Lewis Carroll's magical cat.

Jeff let out the breath he was holding. The glee on his oldest's face mean that Parker had passed Scott as a driver. Bounding across the space between them with the grace of a newborn gazelle, a set of overly long limbs wrapped themselves around him in a bony hug. The latest growth spurt had resulted in his son being marginally taller than his father and far too thin looking. The sooner the rest of him grew into his new frame the better. Long gone were the days that the boy could hide under a table.

"I take it this is good then, Parker?"

"Yessir. Master Scott knows the basics he needs now Mr Tracy"

"Well i suppose we should go and thank our host before we leave. Parker, I believe he's at the Fox and Chicken?"

" Bridge Club, Sir..."

"I can drive you." Scott cut off Parker beaming, then turned to his grey clad instructor. "That's if it's okay with you, Parker?"

Jeff remembered what he had been like when he was first let loose on his own with an automobile, and it did nothing to calm his nerves. But, Scott was so keen to take him that he forced himself to smile and hoped he sounded sincere.

"That would be great, son."

"No problem Dad. Get in."

The car snailed it's way along the drive at 5 miles an hour.

"Scott. I know the rules inside the Manor grounds, but you can edge her up a NOTCH once we're past the gates. I'd like to get there before Christmas if you could."

"F.A.B. Sir!" the younger man grinned back.

Two minutes later, if Scott had looked sideways he would have seen his Dad hanging on for grim death with his eyes glued shut. Missions into space were FAR less terrifying than this!

Jeff was certain they were trimming the hedgerows, and OH BEJEEZUS THAT WAS A BLIND CORNER! NO, no more peeking! Speed was definitely going to be this boy's thing.

On arrival at the pub Scott overshot his parking slightly, stopping just outside the village church.

Jeff quickly jumped out of the car.

"Thank you."

"Any time dad"

Jeff stared at him, nodded, then smiled out a sigh and turned to the pub.

"I wasn't addressing you, son," he muttered under his breath, "I was talking to God."


	8. Interruptus - Lucille and Jeff

_*BEEP*_

"I thought you would have turned the communicator off, Luce."

"It'll be fine. Ignore it. You know as well as I do that if we switched it off and your Mother noticed it was offline that she'd have the whole of the GDF crashing in looking for us…. OHGODrighttherepleasedon'tstopthat!"

 _*BEEP*_

"Fuuu…Go away! Jeeeeez you feel so good. 4 month stint off planet is too long. I am NEVER doing that again!"

 _*BEEP*_

"I'mgonnakillmymother."

"No you won't. She agreed to look after all 5 boys and only contact in emergency… DON'T you dare move from there Jeff Tracy, just … pause a second."

"Fine, but you can do the talking though cos there is no way I can talk to her in this position."

 _*BEEP*_

"Deal … make sure you press voice only though."

 _*click*_

"Hello? Ruth?"

"Hey Mom, Virgil took the ammo on Zombie Apocalypse when Johnny needed it and now Johnny says he's NEVER playing co-op with Virgil again and Virgil gave him a dead leg for saying that and Johnny got more mad cos Gordon was giggling at him not being able to walk and now Gordon is crying cos Johnny emptied his beaker of juice over him and…"

"Scotty, take a breath… where's your Grandma?"

"Oh she's cooking dinner, at least I _think_ that's what she's doing, but it doesn't smell very nice so I didn't think I should interrupt her."

"Fair enough. Right. Tell John not to be so mean, because he knows he WILL play co-op with Virgil again, and to get towels and clean up the juice he spilled. Remind Virgil not to hit his brothers. Also could you be a sweetheart and stick Gordon in the shower, remember he's not old enough to be left in the bath by himself yet, and get him a change of clothes. What's Alan doing?"

"Oh he's just sleeping as usual."

"Excellent. Do you think you can you do all that for me please?"

"Sure thing Mom, miss you. Hope you and Dad are having a good time."

"Well we are _trying_ to sweetheart, thanks for asking. See you in a couple of days."

"Byyyyeee!"

 _*click*_

"Now Mr Tracy… where were we."


	9. Hiding - wee Virgil vs Grandma

Grandma and I _love_ Halloween.

She helps us make our own costumes. She is the best costume maker in the world. Johnny is boring and just wants to read, Scott is too easy to scare cos he just screams like a girl when he sees a spider, and Mum says my baby brothers are still too small to Trick or Treat.

So this year I'd saved up my pocket money for _aaaaages_ and Dad and me bought a really scary werewolf mask. Scaring each other was another thing me and Grandma enjoyed doing, so today after school I'd hid in the cupboard in the kitchen and waited on Grandma.

It was _really_ dark, but numbers on my watch glowed.

5 minutes passed and I heard nothing.

10 minutes and now I was getting really bored.

12 minutes. I decided to change my hiding place.

I opened the door just enough to peak out, when suddenly it was pulled open wide ...

" _ **RRRRRAAAAAARRRRRRRR**_ " yelled the huge hairy creature in the blinding light ...

I heard it giggling behind me as I ran screaming and slid under my bed!


	10. PIN - Alan vs EOS

"Thunderbird Three is docked. Open the airlock please, EOS."

"I am sorry, Alan Tracy, I cannot permit entry. You must first enter your four-digit PIN using the keypad."

"PIN code? No-one has used those for decades."

"Then you will have to answer the security questions. What was your first pet's name?"

"Come on, EOS! You know it's me! It can ONLY be me!"

"You could be malware pretending to be Alan Tracy. You seem to have failed to install the last security update despite six reminders from John, instead deferring the update to play an application called "Zombie Apocalypse". Intriguing title."

"Oh."

"Please also check you have ticked the 'I am not a robot' box?"


	11. Night Walk - Sherbet vs Parker

He sneaked slowly down the path, certain that he wasn't alone.

He knew he shouldn't have gone out alone at night, especially on this lane.

A chorus of frogs croaked noisily from a nearby pond. Small, dark flutters squeaked in the sky above, randomly blocking out stars for the briefest of instances. Across the heavily wooded expanse the call of an owl could be heard.

Suddenly a twig snapped behind him and he spun round as a large black shape flew at him, hoisting him unceremoniously into the air

"What do you fink you're doing h'out 'ere? 'Oudini 'imself would be proud!"

Sherbet knew there was no point struggling against Parker's vice like grip so allowed himself to be carried home with his tail between his legs.

"M'lady is h'in a right state. Bad dog!"


	12. Inktober 2017 day 4 underwater - Gordon

He took a deep breath and lay back completely immersing himself under the deep water letting the sounds of the world fade away.

He can hear is the swish of his arms by his side, and his heartbeat in his ears.

Counting the beats is meditative … time seems to slow.

They are so clear without the normal outside noise.

Calming

Peaceful

He could stay here for ever

His lungs feel like they are going to explode … just a few seconds longer

The hammering on the door shocks him… he inhales some bathwater as he rises, the burning from holding his breath multiplies as he coughs up the warm liquid.

The raised voice from the other side of the door drips with the usual snark.

"I know you're part fish Gordon, but you've been in there for hours. Hurry up, foods ready."


	13. Cross-dressing - Gordon

**From the Kinktober 2017 prompt list, day 7 - cross-dressing That full story list is on AO3 but as it's rated too high for here you will need to go there to see them (and all the other e-rated fics) Same username on there.**

"This is a bad idea."

"Live a little, Alan."

"If she catches you, you are soooo dead."

"She's going for a bath with a book, we have at least an hour."

Gordon brushed the strands of the grey mop head away from his eyes and slid the spare glasses on his nose.

"Even if she does, it will be so worth it." he grinned.

Alan eyed him dubiously … Grandma always found out everything. The woman was a telepathic ninja with supersonic hearing.

"And THOSE are grotesque." Alan pointed to the balloons shoved down the front of the purple jumpsuit Gordon had thieved from Grandma's wardrobe.

"Why young man, " Gordon put on a higher pitched gravelly voice. "are you checking out my boobs?"

"Errghh. That is just gross. Just get on with it already."

"Sssshhh … here he comes."

The two blonde boys … well one blonde and one grey mop-head …squirmed close behind a supply crate as their older brother walked in to check the POD that had, for a change, actually made it back to the island in one piece.

Gordon hand signaled Alan to watch and stepped out from their hiding spot.

"VIRGIL!" Gordon camped up the older woman voice. "I want a word with you! I hear you have been using the radio channels for things you shouldn't have."

Virgil's expression turned from one of shock to murder within microseconds.

"I am going to kill you, you little FU…"

"VIRGIL. LANGUAGE. And not before I kill him first." The real Grandma Tracy's voice from the platform above their heads.

Alan looked out at Gordon and mouthed "I told you so." Virgil smirked at the karma of little brother getting caught red-handed.

"Not bad on the mimicry, Gordon Tracy. I do hope you managed to put on some underwear before stealing my clothes. Maybe I should return the caricature and run through the house naked and jump in the pool. I'm pretty sure my jiggly bits can outdo yours any day."

She turned and walked away. Three expressions of pure horror left in her wake.


	14. Lapdance - eerrr all of them

**Cross-posting Kinktober Day 10 as this one in SFW**

 **Yes I may have to expand this one further to meet the beta reader requests.**

 **Lapdances from day 15 as the day 10 options didn't inspire anything, so stole an option from day 15**

 **Yes... yes I am going to hell ... but just wait till tomorrow**

* * *

"You rented what?"

"It's his birthday. It's about time someone did."

"But he's … he's…"

"If you are going to say child, technically he isn't in some countries, but may I also remind you about the roman candle he flies into outer space on a regular basis."

"Point taken… but a strip club?"

"It's a look don't touch policy, there will only be five customers that night and the girls know the score. The laws of said country are quite relaxed, and as it is a private party… well, let's just say no legal issues.

"But…"

"Oh Scott, stop being such a prude."

"But Grandma… you rented Alan a STRIP CLUB!"


	15. Deep - Jeff

**A/N from Inktober 2017 day 20 - Deep**

Jeff glanced at his reflection in the mirror. Darn he'd nicked his chin. Just a tiny one, it would heal in a second.

He stood there, staring deep into his own eyes.

Time seemed to stop. When had he gotten so old?

Okay he'd been salt and pepper for years. The greys has started showing far younger than he would have liked. It looked like his eldest was going to have the same problem. Let them grow, he'd said, the ladies love the signs of maturity. A lot of it was genetic … a lot of it wasn't. For both of them.

The crinkles at the corner of his eyes had at one time been purely laughter. Now there was so many other things etched into his face. Age. Worry. Stress.

Heartache.

Deaths.

His fingers nudged against the pink and white toothbrush first.

It was bone dry, having never been used in years.

Even after all this time he didn't have the heart to throw it out.

Not that.

Not yet.


	16. Christmas - John

**This was written for the TAG Secret Santa 2017**

 _"Virgil. May I remind you of the safety rules. ALL lights should be on, not just the port side red. I assume Gordon is as much to blame."_

"It was for 10 seconds as we flew over that kids house, John. A 4 yr old now still believes that Santa and Rudolph passed by."

 _"If anything had happ..."_

"Nothing did. Now you get your butt moving and get down."

John sighed in resignation.

 _"I have a few diagnostics to finish. I'll be down as soon as they are done. Don't wait up."_

"Deal. But if you are not there in the morning..."

 _"I'll be there."_

...

The villa was in silence when he finally made it down.

The decades old gaudy tree with it's randomly sparking LED tips lit up the room with a cacophony of colours.

He chuckled dryly at the vomited on decorations. He'd spend most of tomorrow with his eye catching a bauble or a bit of tinsel that just wasn't quite even and be compelled to move it to a more evenly distributed home.

The star had been left on the center table. That one was always his job and had been since... well... since as long as he could remember. Dad lifting him up so he could stick it on the top. Mom's voice off to the side, her voice concerned "Jeff, be careful...no...just..." and the sigh of relief as the star was perched on top. Later on it was a stepladder to reach high enough. That had resulted in some not so good memories as several times he had overbalanced into the tree.

The last few years he'd been tall enough that a small stretch was all he needed.

Job done he spied Virgil's popsicle stick star. Kindergarten decorations were apparently the best ... or so all the adults had raved. There was Scott and Gordon's ... the cycle of what tat to do this year had gone full circle between them and both had made a bauble covered in PVA, glitter and sequins. The latter two ingredients had diminished with age, leaving a lot of dried glue and not-so-much bling.

Oh good God, there it was.

His year had made toilet roll Santas. Red poster paint splodged on the cardboard, a pink paper circle for the face and a lot of cotton wool glued on. Santa now had cracked off paint where the splodges had been too liberal and the small tear at the bottom had grown after being shoved in a box for about 49 weeks each year.

Seriously, why do parents keep all these things?

He recalled being so proud of it at the time. Handing it over to Mom with glee, her warm smile as she told him how wonderful it was. It really wasn't, it was not exactly the most artistic thing any of them had made, but she seemed to love it nonetheless. Then Gordon's grabby hands had snatched it and the cotton-wool beard had been torn off. John remembered how completely devastated he had felt... but Mom calmly extracted it from toddler fists and consoled him that she had lots of glue and that she would fix it good as new. Sure enough, by bedtime, Santa had his beard back on and was pride of place on the tree ... the small tear at the bottom had been unnoticeable then too.

Looking around for Alan's he noticed that Kayo didn't have one, even though she'd grown up with them.

Ah, there was the rocket ... a plastic window suncatcher, smeared with red glitter glue.

Not exactly the most festively themed item, but little Alan... little-ER Alan ... had been so set on it. John remembered being handed it and had been about to comment when he'd spied Grandma looking over her glasses in that silent warning. John hadn't realised it then, but now it hit him. All of them had been able to give their decorations to Mom ... except Alan. Instead the small boy had given HIM the honour of adding it to the tree.

Not the biggest brother ... him.

He removed a small knitted stocking that was hanging off the bottom to place it higher to even off the base line.

He headed towards the stairs. A couple of hours sleep might bring his biorhythms at least close to everyone else. He stopped mid flight and took a final glance at the tree, and resolved that in the morning he'd make sure Kayo got railroaded into making something. There was a box with felt, buttons and glitter somewhere on the island.

"Okay Mom, " he whispered to the room. "I get it now."


End file.
